Don't drink and drive / T's campaign

When we were driving back from the cinema theatre, T looked at a sign above the traffic signal that said: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE ...and then told me, “Ma, don’t drink and drive!”

I was momentarily shocked to think this child knew about alcohol and asked her…”What?!”
She said, “Ya, don’t drink (mimed taking out a bottle of water always kept in the car, and taking a swig out of it)….and drive (simultaneously at an imaginary steering wheel).

Ahh. I saw.

OKAY!

Don't sweat, mom!

This was when I went up to T at her cot at bedtime for the usual good night kiss and 'I love you T / I love you Amma' routine.

Today, she was at her dramatic best and playing with Barbie and another Barbie-like doll, conducting an 'accented' conversation between them, American ishtyle. When I went up to her, we kissed, hugged and then she continued her dramatic tone and addressed me: "I love you, Amma, and I don't want you to go for your meetings...and I don't want you to verthukottify (sweat it out) at the computer."

It was all oh so earnest and sincere with a liberal dash of over-acting, that it was guffaw time for me. She then gave me a long, Bollywood style hug, and I was wondering at the extra display of affection...until I caught her staring dramatically at the mirror at her own reflection whilst lying on my shoulder. Self-gazing in progress!

Amma no genius *sniff*

T was getting ready for bed and was heartily tired of my 'go to sleep!' barking. She announced to me: "I had a dream last night that my father was a genius man!"

Said I: "What?"

T replied smugly, "A genius MAN. Not you, mother. Just my father!"

I turned around to see another smug face in the room.
Yes, it was the genius man's indeed.

Clever!

K and I were talking about something and one of my retorts was "That was stupid of you."

T apparently overheard and said in a warning voice, "Ma, I hope you know you both are talking with a child."

Both K and I paused (read:froze), but didn't turn towards her. T continued, "Don't you know that I am very clever in listening?"

Conversation over.

Observation!

T, K and I were lounging around when I suddenly decided to indulge in a spot of nagging ...with my husband. "You really need to cut your nails," I told K reprovingly as I eyed his hands.

T, never to be left out of any conversation promptly agreed: "Ya. Appa, your nails are looking like my mother's friends' nails!"

This was too hilarious because some of my friends do, indeed, have long (painted!) nails.

A 1000 years

I was feeding T her dinner and she was taking her own sweet time to chew her mouthfuls. A tedious affair it is, sometimes, to feed her meals. Then I thought for the umpteenth time, that at five and a half, she ought to be eating her meals by herself. (She knows how to -- it's just that this is the way she likes it).

I put on my best serious voice and asked her "T, when are you going to start eating on your own? Tell me."

T skipped a beat and then said, "After a thousand years!" I looked at her, but she had a straight face except for that tongue in her cheek...or was it just food??
We grinned at each other. Then I said, "Do you know how long a thousand years is?".
She smiled happily as if she were expecting such a question and said "I know. I won't be there, I will be gone. By then, I will be up in the sky. And you also. Then we will porandhify (be born) in some other families..."

And then, I persevered, "When are you going to eat on your own, T?"

She promptly replied this time: "Tomorrow!" and gave her what I call beatific smile.

"

Huh?

Today, T checked with me suddenly, "Ma, timing is everything isn't it?"

Stunned, I agreed.

On further questioning, she said she came across this phrase in 'Barbie and the Diamond Castle'.

Hope and Think

T has a way of equating the word 'hope' with 'think'. If she thinks she has many colour pencils, she will say, "I hope I have enough colour pencils..."

One day when T and I were in the loo and I was brushing her teeth, her father K came in and announced: "Someone has been messing around with my mail as the envelopes all have somethings scribbled on them. Someone had better stop scribbling on them or someone is going to get a whack from me." So saying, he left the loo.

Tara missed a beat and then turned to me and said, "Ma, I hope that 'someone' is you. If so, I think you are going to get a whack from Appa."

!!!

Ummon's Tag

June 24th 2009
Below is a list of questions you pose to your child. Mine is almost 5 (one week to go) and has many a quirk already, as well as a great sense of sarcasm / 'nakkal'.

I decided to do it. Might be interesting, I thought.

Tsu: T, will you answer some questions?
T: Yes

Tsu: Now?
T: Mmm. (meaning ‘yes’) Mmmm! What?

Here goes the dialogue…
Tsu: What is something I always say to you?
T: I don’t know…what…?? Oh, yeah…”Did you go moocha in school?”

Tsu: What makes me happy?
T: To konjify you.

Tsu: What makes me sad?
T: When I am behaving badly…no, when I am thittifying you (scolding you)…
Then? Ask another question!
Mutters…’Adhey adhey sabapadhey…’

Tsu: How do I make you laugh?
T: By not thittufying…and by konjifying, kichikichi-muttufying..no? no? ya? Aama? (Yes?)

Tsu: What do you think I was like as a child?
T: You will sleep with your mouth open.
(I could not stop laughing, so I asked her the question again)
T: You would have been like Jasmine.

Tsu: Who is Jasmine?
T: Princess

Tsu: How old am I?
T: 29, no 34, no 24..? No, 24 AND 34.

Tsu: How tall am I?
T: Tall like this – ivalo tall (So tall) – She gestures to my head.

Tsu: What is my favourite thing to do?
T: Computer, playing computer games.
(Hmph I do not, but the computer is my fav thing alright)

Tsu: What do I do when you’re not around?
T: Cry…you will be sad (acts it out)
Asked her again…
T: At the computer, no? no? no?
Now, are you going to switch on the TV or not?

Tsu: If I become famous, what will it be for?
T (sarcily): ‘Tupu’. Then, “Famous means what?”

Tsu: Everybody will know me
T: I will be happy.
Clarify:
T: Yey, will you put on the TV or not? And giggles… (I do too)
T: You will be famous for talking...you talk on the phone, no?

Tsu: What am I really good at?
T: Giving food for children, putting the TV on when I ask... Now, I will ask YOU some questions…you reply!
Totally rolling with laughter, I again ask:

T answers: Dancing Bharatnatyam
She is messing with the mouse

Tsu: What am I not really good at?
T: If anyone says ‘you sing me one song’, then you will not sing. If someone asks you to dance, you will not dance…that only.

Tsu: What is my job?
T: To do this computer. No? ah? Eh? Aamadhaane? No? Now, I will ask some questions…

Tsu: What is my favourite food?
T: Idli. No? no? aama dhaanney? (Isn't it so?)
Because I always suggest it to her at restaurants…for her.
Asked again:
T: Idli.

Tsu: What makes you proud of me?
T: When you put the TV on for me. (Very bored and impatient-- Does not get the word ‘proud’).

Tsu: What makes me proud of you?
T: If I wear whichever dress you want me to

Tsu: What do you and I do together?
T: I don’t know. Dance, talk…no?

Tsu: How are we the same?
T: We are not the same (flippant and dismissive)

Tsu: How are you and I different?
T: That is…I am thinking about the reply. You have no pottu, I have. You always wear churidhar, I don’t. See, now I am wearing a frock.

Tsu: How do you know that I love you?
T: I know, because you are my mother. I am thinking…Because of the sunny day.
I know. I (just) know. That is the answer.

Tsu: What is one thing you wish you could change about me?
T: You should become a good girl.
Tsu: Am I not a good girl?
Tara: You are , but you should become MORE good and also clever.
Only one more question. Tomorrow you can ask another question. One-one day one-one question only.

Tsu: What do you wish you could go and do with me?
T: I can play with you. Go to the shop and dance. (Totally flippant.) This is the last question.

Laughed too much and annoyed her throughout.

Twas great fun. Thanks umm-o.

Now, switched on Tv for her.
Am I not a good girl now...and also clever?
:-)